My banner text
Stuff Today - Issue 9245
Tuesday 18 November 2025
Soil Appreciation Day
MEATHOP, n.
One who sets off for the scene of an aircraft crash with a picnic hamper.OPTIMIST, n.
A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.A pessimist applied to God for relief.
"Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that would justify them."
"The world is all created," said God, "but you have overlooked something -- the mortality of the optimist."
WORK A SPLIT SHIFT, v.
Of a lovable, lucky, cheeky chappie, to have two ladyfriends on the go at the same time.Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact
Poem Of The Day
Listen to me - they're not all bad,
In fact some are very nice.
I'm sorry if you think that
They are all as cold as ice.
A narrow-minded outlook
Is all you have on life.
They don't go about with
Bible in one hand and in
The other one a knife.
Hypocrisy will burn all else
(and that it may pollute).
All else tries to stand well clear
But sometimes finds it can't.
"Be sure" I say. Two kinds of people:
Those sincere and those who aren't.
Would you deny somebody a chance
Of being heard fairly?
Or just dismiss him
Unfair and squarely?
If you would, I don't want to know you
And I know that he won't, too.
So reconsider what you do.
He's not as bad as you'd think,
But what you think is even worse.
If you don't read this shit, someone else will!
Tweets by @stuff_today