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Stuff Today - Issue 8944
Tuesday 21 January 2025
From today EU regulations require all apples to clearly state how many pips they contain
FRITHAM, n.
A paragraph that you get stuck on in a book. The more you read it, the less it means to you.ICONOCLAST, n.
A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performance, and most strenuously protest that he unbuildeth but doth not reedify, that he pulleth down but pileth not up. For the poor things would have other idols in place of those he thwacketh upon the mazzard and dispelleth. But the iconoclast saith: "Ye shall have none at all, for ye need them not; and if the rebuilder fooleth round hereabout, behold I will depress the head of him and sit thereon till he squawk it."GENDER BLENDER, n.
A person whose physical and facial appearance offer no clue as to which sex they belong to, eg. the man/woman who drove the 47 bus into Nottingham in the early 1980s.Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact
Poem Of The Day
I like trees when I'm all trippy
I'll hug them like some Greenpeace hippie
I rub myself against the trunk
And leave behind a glob of spunk.
Best of all I like the oak
A woodpecker's hole is great to poke
Sometimes I will go for ash
But once I got a dreadful rash
Never again shall I try holly
That I found a foolish folly
The same applies to larch and pine
They really made me wince and whine
A fling I had with a sequoia
Left me suffering from paranoia
But then the comfort of a plane
Helped me become once more sane.
I had a period of monogamy
Faithful to just one mahogany
Then one day behind my back
She had the chopper of a lumberjack
So now I'll go for larch and elm
And all fine trees throughout the realm
And when my head is on my pillow
I sleep and dream a dream of willow.
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