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Stuff Today - Issue 8685

Tuesday 07 May 2024

St. Gatwick's Day - patron saint of lost luggage

Today's Cryptid: Yeti

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

KENILWORTH, n.

A measure. Defined as that proportion of a menu which the waiter speaks that you can actually remember.

The Devil's Dictionary

MARRIAGE, n.

The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

Roger's Profanisaurus

MISS HASTINGS, n.

An ugly woman who is in fact the least ugly woman in one's environs. From the heavily be-uglywomanned Sussex seaside town.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

The first jigsaw puzzle was created by map maker John Splisbury who mounted one of his maps on a sheet of hardwood. He proceeded to cut around the borders of each country use a fine saw

Poem Of The Day

Krypton

There once was an element called Krypton,
Who's invisible so when I tripped on
This rare inert gas
I felt like a spaz
Who'd ended up going to Skipton.

- Mike Stools (b. 1962)

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