Nobody's here on a weekend
Pooclub is all poo free
I'm feeling a bit of a dickend
Because nobody's here but me.
 
It's a really lovely Sunday
I should go out for a walk
But I can't wait 'til Monday
For my dose of dirty talk.
 
I want to write something witty
I'd love to say something rude
Like twat and arse and shitty
I want to be really crude.
 
I want to go on about knob cheese
Fannies that ponk of fish
Farts and snot and jobbies
And wellies full of pish.
 
I want to sing of floppy baps
Of piles and pints of cum
Of gonorrhea and rectal prolapse
And poo in the hairs on your bum.
 
I want to insult the French in ways
No one else has even thought of
I want Lisa not to post on Sundays
Now she's gone and spoiled it sort of.
 
Well I'm not alone there's life out there
Although it is a Yank
The god of poo answered my prayer
So I'm off to have a bath!

Marshall